we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
