She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
