alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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