The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
