I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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