oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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