sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
