just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
