It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
