Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
someone get that fucking seahorse.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
