And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
