i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
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You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
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Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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