Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
