So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
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These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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