I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
