New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
