Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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