DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
my being single is dangerous.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I am naked and annoyed.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
