Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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