Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
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