Christians are straight up FREAKS
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
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Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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