I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
