i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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