Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
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Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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