thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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