I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
