my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
