brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
