using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
