mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
