So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
