Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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