we need to drink 2009 down the drain
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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