you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize