Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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