is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just blew my weed a kiss
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
