Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
