oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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