Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
