Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
