Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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