I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
