All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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