I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Too much gin, very little bucket
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
