Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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