i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
