Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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