the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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