If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
