Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
