hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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