mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize