I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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