im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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