The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
