Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
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