On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
