ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
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I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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