And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
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