apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Im part way to drunk.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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