people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
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I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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