i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
