is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
