Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
