the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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