Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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