If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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