Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
your like the ambassador to my penis.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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