do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
