A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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